Recently by Kati Nolfi:

For some people, discipline is freedom. Not just a path toward freedom, the bondage itself is a state of liberation. The coterie of band geeks at my high school had waited forever for the opportunity to wear itchy heavy uniforms, to march in black, regulation roll step orthopedic shoes that most people don’t get to enjoy until old age, to be forbidden to wear makeup and jewelry, to misinterpret Beastie Boys and Black Sabbath, to observe minor holidays with parades. They wanted to belong to something, to share an experience and identity, to express themselves within narrow confines. A funny about high school is the way adults can take something inherently appealing, like the public performance of music or poetry, and make it embarrassing and dull. Of course we shouldn’t have it any other way, as this process forces us to find and interpret books and music for ourselves,… More…

I bought groceries three times a day, an ectoplasmic effluvium three times a day. I did not sleep or work. Food detritus bloomed in lavender plastic bags around the room, cautioning against visitors. The day and night were textured with throwing up in bags or toilet or shower — water running, viscous puke swirling and clotting the drain — and then lying migrainous on the cold white tile. I learned the tedious pain of filling up and emptying out. With bulimia, your behavior doesn’t necessarily manifest your appearance the way anorexia does. A sufferer is often very sick and technically normal weight or overweight. Upon learning of my eating disorder, a psychology professor trilled, “What was your lowest weight?” assuming that I was in recovery, gaining, clearly not that sick in the present. Out of humiliation, competition, shame, I of course manufactured a shocking small number.

Upon homecoming, learning to… More…