Michael Laser’s most recent novel is Eulogy, which borrows many moments from the life he describes in this essay. He is also the author of The Word-Lover’s Lexicon: A Whimsical Collection of Uncommon, Amusing, and Useful Words (Including the Ones You Meant to Look Up but Didn’t). For more about his books (and other odds and ends), visit his website, michaellaser.com.