A bedroom appliance that can whip up instant orgasms at half the price of a decent food processor doesn’t just sell itself, so naturally Church & Dwight, the company that manufacturers Trojan-brand vibrators — has created a commercial to hype its latest innovation, the Tri-Phoria Personal Massager. Last year, when Church & Dwight wanted to spread the word about a similar item, the Trojan Vibrating Mini Personal Massager, it met with limited success. According to the New York Times, some TV networks agreed to air the ad, but only between the hours of midnight and 5 a.m., when the audience pretty much consists of depressed insomniac beagles whose owners keep the TV on all night to mitigate their howling. This time around, network executives have been more accommodating. Comedy Central, Spike, and VH1 have all aired Church & Dwight’s latest ad in… More…

 

Amongst true connoisseurs of female beauty, it has long been a well-known fact that the otherwise stunning Brooke Shields had been cursed with one striking flaw: puny, stick-thin eyelashes that resembled the legs of a sickly spider. But no more: The disease of “inadequate” lashes now has a cure, and as Shields explains in a recent TV commercial, that cure is called Latisse. Although Latisse sounds like either an upscale brand of French mascara or a Sunset Strip hooker, it is in fact a prescription drug that you brush on your scrawny lashes, like extremely specialized Rogaine. In her commercial for the product, Shields testifies that Latisse has made her lashes longer, thicker, and darker. If the accompanying visuals are any indication, it has also given her the confidence to boogie with prim, cautious abandon at… More…