America’s supply of executive nostril foliage, kept in merciful check for the last three decades, is on the verge of rapid proliferation: The Sharper Image has filed for bankruptcy protection and is closing half its stores, and suddenly it may be much harder to obtain titanium-enhanced nose-hair trimmers that can prune even the most stubborn nasal bristles like a chainsaw going through limp spaghetti. Are we sure we’re doing the right thing by passing up that creepy $299 animatronic Elvis — “Press ‘Alive’ and Elvis comes to life, checking you out and talking you up” — that could help keep the company afloat in its hour of need?

The Sharper Image is fun to mock, but if consumers have finally decided to dump the pioneering gizmo peddlar like an aggressively tasteless plasma sculpture that no longer enchants… More…