For me, there’s never been a more chilling movie than Planet of the Apes, particularly the harrowing moment when a bedraggled Charlton Heston stumbles upon what’s left of the Statue of Liberty and realizes he’s trapped in a future where monkeys have enslaved mankind. Call me paranoid, but I have a sneaking suspicion that this is where we’re headed. Daily newspapers across Asia are filled with tales of simian outrage, from pick-pocketing apes to the shadowy monkeyman — an apocryphal creature whose rumored existence sparked widespread panic several summers ago in Delhi. If that’s not enough, a more recent warning came when a friend traveling through India needed to be pumped full of anti-bacterial drugs after a malevolent monkey sank its gnashers deep into his unsuspecting buttocks.

With this in mind, I’ve always given a wide berth to apes, chimps, gorillas, and their ilk — I know they’re supposed to… More…