So 271 “new” Picassos have been discovered. They were living with a former electrician of Picasso’s, who claimed that, near the end of his life, the artist gave the works to him as gifts and as payment. Picasso’s heirs, of course, are suing and charging the man with theft.

Lost Lives, Lost Art: Jewish Collectors, Nazi Art Theft, and the Quest for Justice by Melissa Müller and Monika Tatzkow. 256 pages. Vendome Press. $40. The Hare with Amber Eyes: A Family’s Century of Art and Loss by Edmund de Waal. 368 pages. Farrar, Straus and Giroux. $26.

Two hundred seventy-one new works by Pablo Picasso, ranging from 1900 to 1932. New works from his blue period, a new portrait of his first wife, Olga. You can hear the auction houses warming up their gavels, can’t you? Scholars lining up… More…

After my debit card was stolen one night, a couple of years ago, I posted this letter in the “lost & found” section of Craigslist:

Dear whoever stole my debit card on Tuesday night, out of the ’90 Toyota Corolla on NW Flanders, you know who you are, and I have a question for you: Why did you do that? Why did you withdrawal $442 from my account? Were you high, or hungry, or desperately ill, or, better yet, do you have a friend who was hungry, or ill, or needed desperately to get high?

Portland Teachers Credit Union tells me that next you bought two $62 Amtrack tickets and then spent $8 at Burgerville. That seems like a lot for one person at Burgerville, unless you got a milkshake or something. I know I always want one, but I am on a tight budget and so can’t afford those… More…

Act One: First Kiss I went to Christian camp a wayward duck; Mandy the Harlot was waiting.

Act Two: Baby Birds What would you do for the love of a hot poetess?


Act Three: Tent The perfect plan for teenage seduction.

Act Four: Sandwich How to steal from the grocer in six simple steps.

Act Five: Diplomat First date — near disaster.

Act Six: First Time One word: condoms.

Act Seven: Duluth The perfect vacation destination.

Act Eight: Swizzle Stick The most stupid relationship argument. Ever.

Act Nine: Love Train Can’t get off.